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Sheath cleaning

Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2014 1:09 pm
by OwnedByTheCow
Hey, trying to clean my horses sheath for the first time ever and he won't cooperate whatsoever like he'll stand there but does not seem to want to help the cause any more then he has too. What do I do? is there sedatives I can give him so he will drop his sheath?

Re: Sheath cleaning

Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2014 1:20 pm
by TennesseeTuxedo
Rick Gore has some helpful videos on the topic.

Re: Sheath cleaning

Posted: Sun Oct 05, 2014 1:36 pm
by suzorse
I cleaned them with out them dropping , smear glycerin up in the sheath good ,and let sit for a while to loosed the sigma , then use some casteles soap if you can find some and a small piece of sponge,
clean real good in all the folds and check for beans, rinse real good and you are done, I did not like cleaning sheaths ,but it needs to be done so I only have mares and no geldings

Re: Sheath cleaning

Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2014 8:00 am
by chippie
Your horse's "Actual Private Part" may or may not choose to venture out on your appointed Hygiene Day. You can, er, manually make friendly with the Actual Private Part to see if that helps, but basically it is HIS PERSONAL Actual Private Part and if it wants to stay indoors there is really not much you can do to change his mind.

It is therefore sometimes necessary to either a) have the vet tranquilize him to lull the Part into an accessible state, or b) roll back those sleeves and go seek out The Part on its own turf. You need long arms, as The Part has a most capacious mansion and can retreat to amazingly secluded locations when it so chooses. Warm water and a lubricant (e.g. Excalibur) help a lot; go slowly and show the Actual Private Part that you are not a threat. Be firm but gentle. Hum seductively Cleaning a gelding by Braille is not perhaps the very easiest thing in the world but I assure you it can be done. And just keep reminding the Actual Private Part, "Whither thou goest, so goest I." Long arms, that's the key. I'm not kidding. REALLY long arms. ;-)

Mr. Hand
Step 1) Check to make sure there are no prospective boyfriends, elderly neighbors, or Brownie troops with a line of sight to the proceedings. Though of course they're probably going to show up unexpectedly ANYWAY once you're in the middle of things. Prepare a good explanation.

2) Trim your fingernails short. Assemble horse, hose, and your sense of humor (plus, ideally, Excalibur cleanser and perhaps thin rubber gloves).

3) Use hose (or damp sponge) to get the sheath and its inhabitant wet. Uh, that is, do this in a *civilized* fashion with due warning to the horse; he is apt to take offense if an icy-cold hose blasts unexpectedly into his personal regions ;-)

4) Now introduce your horse to Mr Hand . What I find safest is to stand facing the horse's head, with my shoulder and hip snugly against the horse's thigh and hip so that if he makes any suspicious move such as raising his leg, I can feel it right away and am in any case pressed so close that all he can do is shove, not really kick. The horse should be held by an assistant or by your free hand, NOT tied fast to a post or to crossties. He may shift around a good bit if he's not happy with Mr Hand's antics, but don't be put off by that; as long as you are patient and gradual, and stick close to his side, he'll get over it.

Remember that it would be most unladylike of you to simply make a direct grab for your horse's Part. Give the horse a clue about what's on the program. Rest your hand against his belly, and then slide it back til you are entering The Home of the Actual Private Part. When you reach this first region of your destination, lube him up good with Excalibur or whatever you're using.

If the outer part of his sheath is really grungy you will feel little clods and nubblies of smegma peeling off as you grope around in there. Patiently and gently expedite their removal.

5) Thus far, you have probably only been in the outer part of the sheath. The Part Itself, you'll have noticed, is strangely absent. That's because it has retired shyly to its inner chambers. Roll up them thar sleeves and follow in after it ;-)

6) As you and Mr Hand wend your way deeper into the sheath, you will encounter what feels like a small portal that opens up into a chamber beyond. Being attentive to your horse's reaction, invite yourself in . You are now in the inner sanctum of The Actual Private Part. It's hiding in there towards the back, trying to pretend it isn't there. Say hi and wave to it . No, really, work your finger back and forth around the sides of it. If the horse won't drop, this is your only shot at removing whatever dried smegma is clinging to the surface of the Part itself. So, gently explore around it, pulling out whatever crusty topsoil you find there. Use more water and more Excalibur if necessary to loosen attached gunk.

7) When Mr Hand and the Actual Private Part have gotten to know each other pretty well, and the Part feels squeaky clean all around, there remains only one task: checking for, and removing, the bean. The bean is a pale, kidney-shaped accumulation of smegma in a small pouch just inside the urethra. Not all horses accumulate a bean, but IME the majority do, even if they have no visible external smegma.

So: the equine urethra is fairly large diameter, and indeed will permit you to very gently insinuate one of your slimmer fingers inside the urethral opening. Do so, and explore upwards for what will feel like a lump or "pea" buried no more than, I dunno, perhaps 3/4" in from the opening. If you do encounter a bean, gently and sympathetically persuade it out with your finger. This may require a little patience from BOTH Mr Hand AND the horse, but the horse will be happier and healthier once it's accomplished. In the rare event that the bean is too enormous for your finger to coax out, you might try what I did (in desperation) last month on the orange horse: Wrap thumb and index finger around the end of the Part and squeeze firmly to extrude the bean. Much to my surprise it worked and orange horse did NOT kill me for doing it and he does not seem to have suffered any permanant damage as a result ;-> I have never in my life seen another bean that enormous, though.

8) Now all that's left to do is make a graceful exit and rinse the area very thoroughly in apology for the liberties you've taken . A hose will be MUCH easier to use here than just a sponge and bucket, IME. Make sure to direct the water into the Part's inner retreat too, not merely the outer part of the sheath. This may require you to enfold the end of the hose in your hand and guide it up there personally.

9) Ta-da, you are done! Say, "Good horsie" and feed him lots of carrots. Watch him make funny faces at the way your hands smell. Hmm. Well, perhaps there is ONE more step...

10) The only thing I know of that is at all effective in removing the lovely fragrance of smegma from your hands (fingernails arms elbows and wherever else it's gotten) is Excalibur. Even then, if you didn't use gloves you may find you've got an unusual personal perfume for a while. So, word to the wise, do NOT clean your horse's sheath just before an important job interview or first date ;-)

and of course, there is that one FINAL step...

11) Figure out how to explain all this to your mother (or the kid from next door, or the meter reader, or whoever else you've just realized has been standing in the barn doorway speechlessly watching the entire process.)

Now, go thou forth and clean that Part :-)

Pat Harris - author

Re: Sheath cleaning

Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 2:40 pm
by OwnedByTheCow
wow that is the best description I've heard anywhere!

Re: Sheath cleaning

Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 5:54 pm
by Bigfoot
I cleaned out 4 sheaths yesterday. I never knew it was called smegma. I just call it cheese. Found a bean on 3 out of 4.

Re: Sheath cleaning

Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 6:39 pm
by Nesikep
Very well written, and quite hilarious. I'm glad I don't have horses... I have enough of that sort of stuff with retained placenta, etc

Re: Sheath cleaning

Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 6:18 pm
by OwnedByTheCow
He just started let his sheath down a lot lately but won't let me touch it he does not even really like me putting my hands under him to get the straps of his blanket. This has been since this weekend I try to clean it but he won't let me anymore. I don't have a trailer to bring him to the vet which is probible what i should do but is there any over the counter relaxing stuff I can give him just so I can clean it or anything I can get that would not require the vet having to give it to him.

Re: Sheath cleaning

Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 7:21 pm
by chippie
There really isn't any over the counter sedative that would help him drop.
Will your veterinarian make a farm call? It would be best to get your veterinarian to sedate him and clean his sheath since you are unfamiliar with cleaning a sheath and being able to tell if he has a bean or not. You veterinarian can show you how to do it correctly and safely.