Medical Power of Attorney or ?

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Stocker Steve
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Re: Medical Power of Attorney or ?

Postby Stocker Steve » Mon Sep 18, 2017 12:40 pm

Had the family meeting. Full Power of Attorney was rejected outright. Side comments were to the effect that a quick clean death was hoped for.
Medical Power of Attorney was proposed as a just in case baby step. This is being considered. Any supporting benefit statements or tips that you can share?
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Re: Medical Power of Attorney or ?

Postby Rafter S » Mon Sep 18, 2017 1:46 pm

If you do go with the Medical Power of Attorney just make sure the person appointed is emotionally prepared, and emotionally strong enough, to make difficult decisions. I'm looking at a situation right now where I won't go into the details, but believe me, that matters.

And I by no means mean that as a knock against anyone that doesn't meet those guidelines.
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Re: Medical Power of Attorney or ?

Postby cbcr » Mon Sep 18, 2017 2:28 pm

I guess I was lucky. My Mom had both my sister and myself assigned with the Power of Attorney. As for her medical part she had a directive of "Do not resuscitate", which was if she was not going to have any quality of life and more or less be a vegetable to let her go.

Even though my sister and i didn't always see eye to eye on lots of things, when it came to Mom's health we usually both agreed. However, Mom sometimes had different thoughts to ours which made some thing different to figure out how to deal with it, but we made it thru. She passed peacefully and we did our best to make her last few months as comfortable and happy as was possible. My sister works in a Nursing Home so for many things it was easier for her to deal with some things that it would have been for me.

Sometimes family members can have different thoughts about the care. As much as we want them to and try, we can keep them forever. But individuals and family members involved must work together and have the best interest of the individual at heart difficult as it sometimes may be.
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Re: Medical Power of Attorney or ?

Postby Caustic Burno » Mon Sep 18, 2017 3:40 pm

Rafter S wrote:If you do go with the Medical Power of Attorney just make sure the person appointed is emotionally prepared, and emotionally strong enough, to make difficult decisions. I'm looking at a situation right now where I won't go into the details, but believe me, that matters.

And I by no means mean that as a knock against anyone that doesn't meet those guidelines.


I am still haunted by some of the decisions I had to make with dad.
Placing a DNR on someone comes with some heavy memories to deal with.
That was 15 years ago and June 6, 2002 is a day that will haunt me till I die.
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Re: Medical Power of Attorney or ?

Postby dun » Mon Sep 18, 2017 4:23 pm

Caustic Burno wrote:
Rafter S wrote:If you do go with the Medical Power of Attorney just make sure the person appointed is emotionally prepared, and emotionally strong enough, to make difficult decisions. I'm looking at a situation right now where I won't go into the details, but believe me, that matters.

And I by no means mean that as a knock against anyone that doesn't meet those guidelines.


I am still haunted by some of the decisions I had to make with dad.
Placing a DNR on someone comes with some heavy memories to deal with.
That was 15 years ago and June 6, 2002 is a day that will haunt me till I die.

Not the same but similar. To this day the only regrets I have concerns my dad suffering while they wouldnt allow him to die.
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Re: Medical Power of Attorney or ?

Postby Workinonit Farm » Mon Sep 18, 2017 4:47 pm

Currently Mom is 88. I am one of her 5 children. Several years ago, prior to her Dementia starting, she appointed my 2nd oldest brother as her POA for all of her finances as well as medical, and put me as 2nd in command so to speak, should my brother decide he's done. The rest of us siblings were fine with Mom's decision.

Mom has Dementia and it is moving right along. She has begun to have some 'minor' medical issues. Even though 2nd oldest has POA (financially & medically), and by rights can just go ahead and do whatever for Mom, he always, keeps everyone 'in the loop'. The youngest, Mom wrote off, out of her life, at the earliest stages of Dementia but still in her "right mind". The oldest lives out of state.

I guess we are fortunate, in that we all get along, have no problem communicating with each other about all of this. It was the same way when Dad passed. There were no arguments.
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Re: Medical Power of Attorney or ?

Postby Rafter S » Mon Sep 18, 2017 5:17 pm

Workinonit Farm wrote:I guess we are fortunate, in that we all get along, have no problem communicating with each other about all of this. It was the same way when Dad passed. There were no arguments.


You are fortunate, and I am too. When my father passed away there was a lot of stuff up in the air, but my sister and I settled it all without the first cross word. I've seen many families where that wasn't the case, and often there wasn't enough in the estate to bother fighting over in the first place.
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Re: Medical Power of Attorney or ?

Postby Workinonit Farm » Mon Sep 18, 2017 8:01 pm

Stocker Steve wrote:Had the family meeting. Full Power of Attorney was rejected outright. Side comments were to the effect that a quick clean death was hoped for.
Medical Power of Attorney was proposed as a just in case baby step. This is being considered. Any supporting benefit statements or tips that you can share?


If there will be no POA for anything, then it would be best to be sure that, for medical issues, there is an Advance Directive. (I don't remember if that was covered earlier in the thread) And be sure that as many possible scenarios are covered in that Directive, this way everything is all "spelled out" with little to no room for confusion. This way whatever is in the Directive will be what the 'Patient'/loved one wants.
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Re: Medical Power of Attorney or ?

Postby Caustic Burno » Mon Sep 18, 2017 8:09 pm

Workinonit Farm wrote:
Stocker Steve wrote:Had the family meeting. Full Power of Attorney was rejected outright. Side comments were to the effect that a quick clean death was hoped for.
Medical Power of Attorney was proposed as a just in case baby step. This is being considered. Any supporting benefit statements or tips that you can share?


If there will be no POA for anything, then it would be best to be sure that, for medical issues, there is an Advance Directive. (I don't remember if that was covered earlier in the thread) And be sure that as many possible scenarios are covered in that Directive, this way everything is all "spelled out" with little to no room for confusion. This way whatever is in the Directive will be what the 'Patient'/loved one wants.


Need to really talk with an estate lawyer IMO I did.
There were all kinds of governmental traps that I had no idea of.
Cousin fought for years with the IRS over the sale of his parents home after they went into assisted care.
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Re: Medical Power of Attorney or ?

Postby Bigfoot » Mon Sep 18, 2017 8:51 pm

Not sure why I'm telling this. My wife has medical power of attorney over her mother. She had a "decision" to make a couple of years ago. I didn't interfere, and kept my mouth shut. I thought it was a huge mistake. She moved forward, and it worked out fine. She's actually enjoying a pretty decent quality of life now. Left the nursing home, and is at her own home now. Again, I didn't say anything. If my wife had done what I was thinking, she'd have never made it. i wouldn't have wanted that responsibility either way.
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Re: Medical Power of Attorney or ?

Postby Chocolate Cow » Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:20 pm

Bigfoot--Maybe this is a therapy session?! It's good to know others have been in this difficult position. I would also add that if your parents are to the point of needing someone to oversee their health issues, make sure their will is current.
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Re: Medical Power of Attorney or ?

Postby D2Cat » Tue Sep 19, 2017 3:54 am

Stocker Steve, how about printing off the links boondocks posted above and give them to your family member to study.

If they can't/won't digest that, you just as well leave it alone. You'll drive yourself nuts trying to get them to your way of thinking!
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Re: Medical Power of Attorney or ?

Postby dieselbeef » Tue Sep 19, 2017 6:31 am

a trust will address all this
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Re: Medical Power of Attorney or ?

Postby TCRanch » Tue Sep 19, 2017 6:36 am

My husband just had surgery yesterday. Last Friday the hospital called and asked if he was an organ donor and to bring a copy of the Medical Directive in the Trust. Gotta say, didn't give either of us a warm, fuzzy feeling the entire weekend. I'm his POA and fortunately surgery went well but had complications arose I still wouldn't have made any major decisions without first consulting with his kids. Make darn sure you're up to it!
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