Diary of the dog and the cat

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callmefence
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Diary of the dog and the cat

Postby callmefence » Mon Apr 18, 2016 5:28 am

Dog & Cat Diarys


Excerpts from a Dog's diary:

8 AM Dog food! My favorite thing!
9 AM A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 AM A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 AM Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
NOON Lunch treats! My favorite thing!
1 PM Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3 PM Got to chew on my Kong toy! My favorite thing!
5 PM Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7 PM Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8 PM Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!
11 PM Sleeping on the couch! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's diary:

It's day 683 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me
with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh
meat, while the other inmates are fed hash or some sort of dry
nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear,
I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the
floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at
their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they
merely made condescending comments about "what a good little hunter"
I am. The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event;
however, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard
that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must
learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one
of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must
try this again tomorrow, this time at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and nitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released
and seems more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe . . .
for now.......................................
_
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dun
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Re: Diary of the dog and the cat

Postby dun » Mon Apr 18, 2016 7:30 am

Love it!
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ez14
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Re: Diary of the dog and the cat

Postby ez14 » Mon Apr 18, 2016 7:43 am

:clap: :clap: :nod:
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Son of Butch
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Re: Diary of the dog and the cat

Postby Son of Butch » Mon Apr 18, 2016 9:59 am

Made me smile.
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TCRanch
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Re: Diary of the dog and the cat

Postby TCRanch » Mon Apr 18, 2016 4:45 pm

That's hysterical - and true :)
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CottageFarm
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Re: Diary of the dog and the cat

Postby CottageFarm » Mon Apr 18, 2016 6:39 pm

My cats are giving me dirty looks ..... :lol:
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TexasBred
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Re: Diary of the dog and the cat

Postby TexasBred » Tue Apr 19, 2016 2:46 pm

So very true of EVERY cat. Cats don't have masters. They have servants.
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JMJ Farms
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Re: Diary of the dog and the cat

Postby JMJ Farms » Tue Apr 19, 2016 7:25 pm

I can't stand a cat! Fleabags!
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Nesikep
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Re: Diary of the dog and the cat

Postby Nesikep » Tue Apr 19, 2016 8:40 pm

haha, It certainly seems true!

What's the cow's diary excerpts?
Perhaps something like this?

Ate
got milked
Licked the calf
Licked the salt
Slept
Chewed cud
Licked the leaves out of the bottom of the manger
got milked
Licked the calf
Rubbed on the trees
Chewed cud
Slept
Chewed cud
got milked
Licked the calf
Rubbed in the dirt
Ate
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Ol' 243
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Re: Diary of the dog and the cat

Postby Ol' 243 » Tue Apr 19, 2016 9:20 pm

I got another cat last week . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .almost wrecked my dang truck, but I got the sumbeotch.
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True Grit Farms
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Re: Diary of the dog and the cat

Postby True Grit Farms » Tue Apr 19, 2016 9:54 pm

We got another cat, the dogs had it treed in the yard two nights ago. So now it's off to the vets for shots and to get fixed. My wife takes in all strays, imagine that. Hopefully the barn cats will leave it alone, sure don't need another house cat.
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Nesikep
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Re: Diary of the dog and the cat

Postby Nesikep » Wed Apr 20, 2016 2:36 am

I'm more of a cat person than a dog person.. (OK, more of a cow person really).. Here's some of the reason for it


Dogs need attention in order to be good, and happy.. I have to cows to keep happy, don't need the dog
Cats need to be left well enough alone to be good, Give them some food if mice aren't plentiful, and if you have a warmish place for them to curl up, that's enough for them.. It works for me

Except for the fact the yotes or owls keep eating my cats.. Last one I only had for 2 weeks before it got snagged

With any animal, I'm fussy about their individual personalities.. We gotta get along, and I gotta get something in return for my efforts in keeping them.. With the cows, well, they are a source of income, and the ones I like are the one that enjoy my company, and show it, and know what I ask of them, and go along with it.
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