How do you...

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boondocks
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Re: How do you...

Post by boondocks » Mon Feb 11, 2019 6:58 pm

alisonb wrote:
Mon Feb 11, 2019 9:29 am
You are asking a difficult question B, as you realise everyone is different and each will handle situations differently.

IMO keep busy, both physically & mentally, no matter how hard it may be. There is a great possibility that you will lose interest in everything(not just the cows)that previously brought you joy. Perhaps set yourselves(you & hubby)a mourning period which you dedicate to your son. Plant a tree, dig his ashes in the ground, paint him, cry, make meals that he enjoyed, share memories of him with friends & family, cry, feel etc. Make no major decisions right now, the cows may just be what you need in the months ahead...

I'm so glad you are engaging and talking about your feelings and your very sad loss...
Thank you Alison and everyone. I have decided to just be open and honest about what this is like, and how very very (insert strongest curse word you know) hard it is. I think that is the only hope of getting through it. Thank you all for all of the kind thoughts.

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Re: How do you...

Post by Coosh71 » Mon Feb 11, 2019 9:26 pm

Boondocks, again I'm very sorry for your loss. As a young man (28) my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. We had 2 children (one of which was 1 1/2). She passed after a long battle. The morning after her passing after waking up before the kids, I had to sit in the floor with them and tell them that mom was gone. I tear up now telling you this even now. She's been gone a while now and I still miss the be nice out of her. But that morning I told the kids that we were gonna take the week off from work and school... But then come Monday we have to get back to living and that death is apart of life etc. I know it isn't the same, but it holds some truth. We have to have faith, slowly pick ourselves up and figure out how to live on and try to find a positive down the road In it all. And I can say this for sure... We will all be here when you need to vent or talk. I could have sure used this forum back then.

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Re: How do you...

Post by Dave » Mon Feb 11, 2019 9:47 pm

There is a program titled Grief Share. I attended the first session at the request of a friend who had lost a loved one and asked me to go along for moral support. I had another friend who experienced terrible loss who went through it. He ended up leading the program for other people. I don't remember too much of the one session I went to other than it is a video series and that all people grief differently. I think it is mainly run through churches although not limited to a single denomination. It certainly becomes a support group that someone else mentioned. I do know it helped my two friends who went through the program.

boondocks
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Re: How do you...

Post by boondocks » Wed Feb 13, 2019 6:08 pm

Coosh71 wrote:
Mon Feb 11, 2019 9:26 pm
Boondocks, again I'm very sorry for your loss. As a young man (28) my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. We had 2 children (one of which was 1 1/2). She passed after a long battle. The morning after her passing after waking up before the kids, I had to sit in the floor with them and tell them that mom was gone. I tear up now telling you this even now. She's been gone a while now and I still miss the be nice out of her. But that morning I told the kids that we were gonna take the week off from work and school... But then come Monday we have to get back to living and that death is apart of life etc. I know it isn't the same, but it holds some truth. We have to have faith, slowly pick ourselves up and figure out how to live on and try to find a positive down the road In it all. And I can say this for sure... We will all be here when you need to vent or talk. I could have sure used this forum back then.
I'm sure that was very tough, Coosh. SO sorry you lost your wife and the kids their mom. I have read that into every life a little rain must fall, but sometimes it is a deluge and you're not sure how to stay afloat....Keep thinking I'll pick up my phone and dial him and maybe he'll pick up. Your brain does funny things, especially maybe with a sudden loss...We do take some comfort in knowing it was almost instantaneous though. One tries to grab onto any small comfort....

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Re: How do you...

Post by Coosh71 » Wed Feb 13, 2019 9:29 pm

boondocks wrote:
Wed Feb 13, 2019 6:08 pm
Coosh71 wrote:
Mon Feb 11, 2019 9:26 pm
Boondocks, again I'm very sorry for your loss. As a young man (28) my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. We had 2 children (one of which was 1 1/2). She passed after a long battle. The morning after her passing after waking up before the kids, I had to sit in the floor with them and tell them that mom was gone. I tear up now telling you this even now. She's been gone a while now and I still miss the be nice out of her. But that morning I told the kids that we were gonna take the week off from work and school... But then come Monday we have to get back to living and that death is apart of life etc. I know it isn't the same, but it holds some truth. We have to have faith, slowly pick ourselves up and figure out how to live on and try to find a positive down the road In it all. And I can say this for sure... We will all be here when you need to vent or talk. I could have sure used this forum back then.
I'm sure that was very tough, Coosh. SO sorry you lost your wife and the kids their mom. I have read that into every life a little rain must fall, but sometimes it is a deluge and you're not sure how to stay afloat....Keep thinking I'll pick up my phone and dial him and maybe he'll pick up. Your brain does funny things, especially maybe with a sudden loss...We do take some comfort in knowing it was almost instantaneous though. One tries to grab onto any small comfort....
No doubt it is tough. I can't imagine losing a child or grandchild. I have prayed so much for you to find some peace and understanding in all this. I know it's hard, but I do believe that God never gives us more than we can handle. He will help see you thru this if you let him.

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