Favorite Sayings and One Liners

[3waycross]

Is a pig's a$$ pork?

If my dog was as ugly as you I'd shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards!

 

[TexasBred]

Sweatin' like a hooker on nickel night.

 

[hoss_ross]

"Grinnin' like a jack*** eatin' sawbriars."
"Workin' like a borrowed mule."
"Drunk as a skunk."
"Screwed up as a football bat."
"Messier than a soup sandwich."
"I got my tongue caught around my eye tooth and I couldn't see what I was saying."

 

[Kscattle]

"hotter than the hubs of hell". The price is higher than a cats back. I'm busier than a long tailed cat in a room full of rockin chairs

 

[Kscattle]

Nervous as a whor in church. Busier than a one legged man in a azz kickin contest

 

[TexasBred]

As the baby crawls across the dining room table pa says "Ma...you gonna have to put some drawers on that boy....look what he just drug through the mashed taters". :lol2:

 

[3waycross]

Horney as a three peckered goat!

 

[cow pollinater]

Runs like an Ethiopian with a lunch ticket.

 

[fatcattle]

Fat looks good on everything but a woman

 

[Crowderfarms]

I had a wife but her husband came and got her! OR How bout "That's about as funny as a Fire Ant in a Condom"

 

[Ouachita]

How are you doing today? "Can't talk for laughin'." Or, "If I were doing any better, I'd ignite"

 

[3waycross]

Fat looks good on everything but a woman

Let's not be hasty :cowboy:

 

[cow pollinater]

How do you make an extra five pounds of fat look fantastic? Stick a nipple on it.

 

[fatcattle]

Dry as a popcorn fart.
Go take a flying f*&^ at a rolling doughnut
Stiff as a preachers pr$!# a foot up a calf's a$$
good thing stupid ain't a painful condition, you'd be on a morphine drip
you ain't got the sense god gave a goose

 

[ga.prime]

I feel better than James Brown.

 

[ALACOWMAN]

I feel better than James Brown.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncvBBjb3iU4 get ready you mutha for the big payback :cowboy:

 

[backhoeboogie]

good thing stupid ain't a painful condition, you'd be on a morphine drip

Now that's a keeper for sure!

 

[Ouachita]

Drunker than Cooter Brown

 

[fatcattle]

good thing stupid ain't a painful condition, you'd be on a morphine drip

Now that's a keeper for sure!

Doesn't work as well as it sounds, the people Iv'e used it on don't usually understand what it means. :bang:

 

[chrisy]

good thing stupid ain't a painful condition, you'd be on a morphine drip

Now that's a keeper for sure!

Doesn't work as well as it sounds, the people Iv'e used it on don't usually understand what it means. :bang:

Have you ever thought that it is way above their interllect??? :lol: